Til' Then

YOOOOO!!!! So this is the 2nd half of my 'blogging to songs' series. The first song was 'Lesson Learned' by A. Keys. I found that song very appropriate for the beginning of the series....but then the next song was Did You Wrong by Pleasure P. Ummm....yeah, so wasn't looking for that one. So for my apology to the one I did wrong, click here>>>>>

I am 23 and spent the beginning of my adult life in a relationship with my son's father. Being inexperienced and caught up in the throws of love, I owe my son's father about 7 'did you wrong' apologies and vice versa...but that is neither here nor there. That, to be completely honest, is a matter to be handled between he and I....however, there is one man I did wrong and for that I apologize so here goes the story......

Back in early 2001, some months before I turned 16, I met this man who was 21....lets call him Wavo. I fell completely in lust with Wavo...he was smart, had a body like a Greek god, the mentality of a Harvard professor (at least at 15 he appeared to have it), and he was FINE as hell. So we began to talk...I was upfront about my age...kept it 100% real all the time....until he caught hella feelings. I was still stuck on his face and his body, hell I was only 16. But feelings and Wavo weren't synonymous for me...however, when he asked to be in a relationship, I agreed. I still did my thing on the side....one man wasn't going to stop my show.

When I turned 17, he proposed to me and the ring was TOO gorgeous, so I said yes...but I could only rock it when I was with him. No one knew...no one could. He could go to jail....for a while. I wasn't in love with him, but I loved him and at that time one seemed parallel to the other. So I continued to lead him on...because he was my comfort...my one variable that NEVER changed, was always constant. He loved me unconditionally. I met my son's father June of 2003...while still engaged. I began to crush hella hard on him...isht, all the women were. He was fresh out the military, stable,fine, smart, funny, and SINGLE. So I set a goal....when I turned 18, he would be mine. Needless to say, when I turned 18 I snagged the prize. All the while still engaged to Wavo...I hid it until my freshman year of college...when I broke it off with Wavo. He was crushed and wouldn't take the ring back...he called me, emailed me, wrote me everyday....trying to change the results...but eventually he got the picture and all communication seized, primarily after Big B (my son's father) answered my phone and in so many words told him to stop or else...

5 years later...here we are. I am a single mommy, grown up and more mature than that 18 year old he was messing with....I ran into Wavo a couple of months ago. He was shocked that I was a mom and I was shocked that he is hesitant to love after me. I apologized, but words are not enough for the things I did. While not the most ruthless thing on Earth, it definitely wasn't the most mature or decourous either.

So....to Mr. Wavo, I apologize for my behavior. You were, are, a great man and I was too young and ill-experienced to notice. I am sorry that I left a bad taste of love in your mouth, but I hope that you get the courage to test it out again soon. You deserve to be overwhelmingly happy...there are not enough words to express the extent to which I am sorry. The woman I have become is so much wiser and mature than the girl you were dealing with then and I can see how petty and childish my activities were then. No matter what wrong I did, you forgave it...and I took that for granted. You were sooo good to me.

Sorry isn't enough, but sorry is all I have to give. I can't give back the time we had together, or the way I treated you....but if I could I would because I did you wrong.

-Trecie