Til' Then

So there is a blog that I read daily...Naked With Socks On ...that touches on many subjects. I mean from serious to silly to plain out erotica (Wet Wednesdays are the bomb dot com.). Anslem is a writer who has an amazing way with words....his descriptions make you feel part of the story and you become entangled in this web of cyber reality where you are at a front door at 3 in only a trench coat and red 4 inch heels....but I digress. Todays blog was about the agressivness of female persuasion in relation to courting men.

Being from the south, a female courting a man is usually viewed as a plea of desperation and an attempt at a gold diggers lifestyle. So while I have aimlessly flirted to get my point across, I've never over stepped the boundries and been blunt with a man......first. But I am naturally a flirt....

But Anslem got me thinking about some things....maybe my mission shouldn't be as one sided as it is......maybe.

Read more after the jump (click the read more link)>>>>


In my past year and a half of singledom, I have been attracted to many men but often kept my attraction at a distance, mostly just flirting my way around the situation. Keeping it coy and friendly and also PG13 like. However, usually I am approached by the friend several weeks later telling me that their friend was attracted to me and I should have gotten on. The hell? Why wasn't I made aware of this before....because usually its too late and life has resumed back to normal and any chances I had of being agressive have inflated and deflated.

My #1 reason for not approaching a man...sort of staying in the back... is because I fear rejection. Deeply. I have this overwhelming fear that I will make a fool of myself and that the man and his friends will snicker as I walk away sulking in my public humiliation, my televised rejection. But do men not take that risk daily when they attempt to holla at a girl? Do men not get rejected...sometimes loudly.....by women, only to just try and try again? So why,given this data, can women (me in particular) not get over the fear of rejection and just go for it? Why not just jump in and take the risk? No telling how many men are waiting for a woman just to be clear and precise and upfront about what she wants. Lesson Learned.

Reason #2 is soley because typically in the South, women are taught....trained.... to always let a man come to them. If he wants you, let him come and get you. Court you. Take all the efforts in making you the one in his life. That has proven more ill fated than best. I'm not saying that we as women shouldn't let a man come to us, but maybe we should also go to them. Break the tradition of the South....hell everything else has been thrown out the window, why not this?

Reason #3 Agressive women are usually viewed as agressors in the bedroom....sex driven females. LOL....I guess? Idk! I like sex....I am a very sexual person; however, in public I try to maintain this pristine image. The mother, daughter, potential wifey material role that I play extremely well! Some of my male friends have said that they think that women who approach men are only looking for one of two things, sex or money. Point, blank, period. Why can I not want to get to know a man because of attraction...see if there is a emotional, mental connection. I mean if that exist, then the sex will come. Can I not approach a man as a man and not a sexual object? Damn all these stereotypes and generalizations!

So in attempt to broaden my horizons, I will be more blunt with the men I am attracted to and tear down all these cliches! I will start by broadcasting that I am extremely attracted to.....................




I'm not telling, but hopefully you will all know soon!